When Parenting Awakens Our Existential Anxiety
By: Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson
There’s a quiet kind of anxiety that most parents don’t talk about—not the daily worry about grades, screen time, or soccer tryouts, but the deeper unease that slips in during quiet moments. It’s the ache that surfaces when you watch your child grow taller, realize another year has passed, or feel the weight of knowing you can’t protect them from everything.
That’s existential anxiety—the awareness that life is fleeting, that control is limited, and that love always carries loss somewhere inside it. Parenting has a way of waking that part of us up.
Why Parenting Brings It to the Surface
When you become a parent, you suddenly have something (and someone) so precious that the fragility of life becomes impossible to ignore. Each stage—first steps, middle school independence, driver’s permits—reminds you that time moves forward whether you’re ready or not.
Parenting forces us to confront life’s biggest questions:
Am I doing enough?
What will happen to them when I’m gone?
How do I live fully while also keeping them safe?
These are not “neurotic” anxieties—they’re profoundly human ones. They remind us that love and uncertainty are intertwined.
How Existential Anxiety Shows Up in Parenthood
You might not name it as existential, but it often looks like:
Over-controlling or over-preparing (to ease the fear of the unknown)
Feeling guilty for missing moments, even when you’re doing your best
Emotional spikes when your child reaches a milestone (“How did we get here already?”)
A sense of disconnection or numbness—because feeling everything feels like too much
These are subtle signs that something deep in you is wrestling with impermanence.
Moving Through, Not Away From It
The goal isn’t to eliminate existential anxiety—it’s to learn to live with it gracefully. A few ways to start:
Name what’s happening. Sometimes simply acknowledging, “This is my anxiety about time and loss,” brings relief.
Anchor in the present moment. Grounding in your child’s laughter, their messy room, or the smell of dinner cooking can reconnect you to now—the only place life actually happens.
Create meaning. Existential therapy reminds us that meaning is the antidote to anxiety. Ask yourself: What kind of parent do I want to be today, in this season?
Let joy and grief coexist. Every stage your child grows into requires you to release the one before. Allow both emotions to live side by side.
The Gift Hidden Inside Existential Anxiety
When we stop fighting existential anxiety, it often transforms into gratitude. It reminds us that time is precious, connection is sacred, and that the ordinary moments—morning coffee with your teen before school, late-night talks, laughter in the car—are the ones that matter most.
Parenting doesn’t just grow our children; it grows us. It calls us to face life’s impermanence with tenderness, to love anyway, and to keep showing up—knowing that the ache we feel is proof of how deeply we care.
About Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson
Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson, Psy.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of The Merthe-Grayson Center for Psychology and Wellness in Ohio. She specializes in helping parents, couples, and high-achieving individuals navigate emotional challenges, relationships, and identity transitions with clarity and compassion.
Dr. Merthe-Grayson is now accepting new patients for both individual and couples therapy and is in-network with Aetna, Medical Mutual, Cigna, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, United Healthcare, and others.
To learn more or schedule a consultation, email jmg@drjennmerthegrayson.com
⚽🏒 Beyond the Bleachers: Balancing Youth Sports, Parenting, and Partnership 💙
By: Dr. Jennifer Merthe-Grayson, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
If you’re a parent in the world of youth sports, you know the routine: late-night practices, weekend tournaments, endless carpools, and a calendar that looks like a patchwork quilt of games and commitments. 📅🚗 By the time you’ve packed the snacks, tied the skates, or found that missing shin guard, it can feel like there’s nothing left for yourself—or your partner.
But here’s the thing: your relationship matters just as much as the scoreboard. 🏆
The Sports Season Juggle 🎢
Parenting in the youth sports world can feel like a full-time job. Practices overlap with dinner, games land on holidays, and weekends become road trips instead of rest days. While your child is building skills, confidence, and friendships, parents often end up running on empty.
It’s easy to fall into “teammates” mode with your partner—coordinating logistics like an operations crew rather than connecting as two people who love each other. 💬➡️🗂️
Why Connection Still Counts ❤️
Couples who keep their relationship strong during busy seasons show their kids something powerful: love isn’t just about showing up for the team, it’s about showing up for each other. 💑 When you and your partner carve out moments for connection, you’re modeling balance, resilience, and healthy love.
Small Ways to Reconnect 🕒✨
Even with a packed schedule, connection doesn’t have to mean candlelit dinners or big getaways. Try:
The 10-Minute Huddle: A quick check-in before bed—no phones, just you two. 🛏️💬
Car Conversations: Use the drive home from practice for something other than logistics. Ask about dreams, not just schedules. 🚗🌙
Sideline Moments: Hold hands, share a laugh, or sneak a smile during the game. Small gestures matter. 👏🤝
Planned Timeouts: Schedule one evening a week—even 30 minutes—for something fun together. 🍷🎲
Final Thought 🌟
Youth sports teach our kids teamwork, dedication, and grit. But they can also teach us, as parents, about prioritizing connection in the chaos.
Because one day the seasons will end, the games will quiet, and what remains is the partnership you’ve nurtured along the way. 💙⚽🏒
Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson is a licensed clinical psychologist accepting many insurances including: Aetna, Medical Mutual, Anthem, Cigna, and United Healthcare. Reach out to schedule your appointment today!
⏱️ 5 Minutes, Then Forward ➡️
By: Dr. Jennifer Merthe-Grayson, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
How to Honor Your Feelings Without Staying Stuck
We all hit those moments where frustration, anger, or sadness takes over. 😤😢 Maybe it’s a tough conversation, a bad day at work, or just that one thing that finally pushes you over the edge. The truth is—you’re allowed to feel it. Emotions aren’t the enemy. They’re signals. 🚦
But here’s the catch: staying too long in the spiral keeps us stuck. That’s where the 5-Minute Rule comes in.
Step 1: Feel It Fully 🌀
Set a timer for 5 minutes ⏱️. During that time, give yourself full permission to:
Complain 🙄
Vent 🗣️
Cry 😭
Drop a few choice words 💥
This is your space to let the emotion out without judgment.
Step 2: Flip the Switch 🔄
When the timer goes off—that’s your cue. 🚨 You’ve honored the feeling, but now it’s time to move into forward motion. Ask yourself:
What’s in my control right now? 🎯
What’s one small step forward I can take? 🚶
How do I want to show up for the rest of my day? 🌞
Step 3: Refocus on Forward Motion ➡️
Forward motion doesn’t mean fixing everything at once. It means:
Sending that email 📧
Drinking a glass of water 💧
Taking a short walk 🚶♀️
Writing down the one next step you can take 📝
Small shifts compound into bigger changes—and forward motion becomes your antidote to being stuck.
Final Thought 🌟
You don’t have to deny your emotions or drown in them. Instead, give yourself 5 minutes of full expression, then choose action. The timer becomes your bridge from negativity back into momentum.
Because progress—even in the smallest steps—is what pulls us forward. 💪➡️
Dr. Jenn Merthe-Grayson is a licensed clinical psychologist who now accepts Aetna, Anthem, Medical Mutual, Cigna, and United Healthcare insurances. Please reach out to schedule an appointment today!